As many know, life can suddenly change for better or for worse, and Hattiesburg pitching coach Patrick Ezell knows that far too well.
Ezell was a standout player at Petal High School and was deemed one of the top players in Mississippi. He then went on to play for Southern Miss, where in his career, he posted a 4.40 ERA, fanned 193 batters and walked just 56.
After graduating college in 2007, Patrick got married to his wife, Heather, and was hired as an assistant baseball coach at Hattiesburg High School. A year later, Patrick went back to Petal and coached under Larry Watkins and helped the Panthers win a pair of state championships. Then in 2013, he was named Petal's head softball coach.
Everything seemed to be going well, but like most people, the pressures of a new job, specifically a head coaching job, were something Patrick struggled to handle. Then in 2013, Patrick had to have some shoulder surgeries, which opened the door to his addiction to painkillers.
"I was not ready for the stresses of being a head coach and all that it entails," Patrick said. “We had two kids, and it was just a lot. And I'll be honest. I was that guy where pretty much everything worked out well for me. I was a decently successful athlete, and coaching was going well. I never really struggled in life. When those struggles came, I didn't know how to handle it. The pain pills made me feel at ease."
As Patrick's main focus shifted from his family and job to finding pain pills, things began to spiral.
"I didn't know about addiction other than what I had heard from news articles," Heather said. "I never knew anyone personally that had battled addiction, so I didn't understand it. I thought he could just stop taking the pills, and that would be it. I didn't understand recovery and what that meant."
Finally, in 2016, due to his problem, Patrick was forced to resign from his head coaching job and lost his teaching license.
"I wish that would have been rock bottom for me," Patrick said. "I wish I had gotten some help at that point, but it just got worse. I got out of coaching and teaching and started selling insurance, and had a lot of freedom. Addiction and freedom don't go hand in hand, so it kept getting worse. It got to the point I was drinking a lot, doing all I could to get as many pills as possible I could get, and eventually, it caught up with me.
"I think people have a wrong idea of addiction. You do it to get high, but at some point, you have to do it so I can be normal, so I don't go through withdrawals, and I don't feel like I have the flu or throwing up. I have to do this to maintain. That's what it turned into for me."
The problem continued to grow rapidly for the Ezells; eventually Heather reached out to Patrick's best friend and old Southern Miss teammate Matt Shepard for help.
"I wasn't aware of the addiction or anything until he was on his way out from Petal," Shepard said. "I had gotten word on what transpired. We talked along that process. I didn't know the severity until he was leaving Petal.
"We do a really good job of masking. We do a really good job of sealing a lot of that stuff. I think that was part of it."
After being confronted, Heather quickly learned another part of addiction: how addicts make promises but often fail to follow through with their actions. Finally, Heather gave Patrick a simple ultimatum – either go to rehab or be homeless. Patrick praises his wife's determination in helping him because even he admits that she could have understandably left him.
"She is an angel," Patrick said. "I don't know if words could do justice for the way I feel about her, with how she has stayed committed to our family and me. She didn't have to. Some of the stuff I did she could have called it quits, but she didn't."
Once Patrick entered rehab, the Ezells began to slowly find normalcy again.
"We met in the fourth grade and started dating senior year of high school," Heather said. "We went through some difficult years. Recovery isn't just for the addict. It really opens your heart because you learn so much about who you are and your weaknesses.
"I remember the first time I saw him; after 30 days, I was able to go visit him. He looked like a different person to me. He looked like the darkness had gotten out of his eyes. It was like a hope that I hadn't seen in a really long time."
Patrick graduated from rehab in February of 2018 and was uncertain after his brother and Shepard picked him up from the airport.
"That ride from Gulfport back to Hattiesburg may be about 65 or 60 miles, but it felt like a long, long trip," Shepard said. "A couple of days after we all met. His family and a couple of his friends and pastor we all met. We talked as a group. That was kind of the first step to the healing process.
"It turned out to be something that was valuable and powerful. I just felt it was the first step of Patrick actually being the old Patrick that I knew and him taking accountability.”
Just a few months after returning from rehab, Patrick decided that he wanted to give back and open a transitional house, more commonly known as a halfway house.
"We knew after about six months while we were there that God was calling us to use this (experience)," Patrick said. "We have guys in the house now with 20+ years of meth addiction, but they have gone through treatment. It's a good thing for them to say that they can't go back home and to say that home isn't a good place for me. We can help in that process of building a successful life, being reconnected with their families, establishing that trust with them, getting a job, being productive and paying their bills. It's part of reestablishing and learning responsibility. It's not a perfect program, but it has worked well.
"It's helped me probably more than it has ever helped them. Having that extra layer of accountability and responsibility on my end helps me stay focused."
As Heather explained, Patrick was grateful to have a support system and wanted to provide that for people who aren't as fortunate.
"Patrick was really blessed that he had a supportive environment with his family and church," Heather said. "Whereas a lot of men and women don't go back to a supportive environment and can be held accountable. He felt like it was something that was needed in Hattiesburg."
After he opened the transitional house, Patrick worked different jobs but rediscovered his love for coaching while working as an adjunct professor at Southern Miss. Finally, after a long process, Patrick earned his current position at Hattiesburg. For Patrick, the whole experience has made him a better coach.
"I have developed a lot of empathy," Patrick said. "It's really helped me connect more with players and to have a greater focus on building relationships.
“It's caught my attention that this is way bigger than baseball or sports in general. I don't think prior to this that I took advantage of the role that I had as a coach to really help and develop athletes as people rather than just players."
While Patrick celebrates his four-year anniversary of graduating rehab this February and approaches his fifth year of sobriety in August, he says he is grateful for the experience because it helped mend and create relationships he never imagined.
"It's just a number," Patrick said. "What means more to me is all the relationships that have been restored and the relationships that I have been able to build through off this. People I would have never known. I've been able to be a part of their lives. That means more to me than a number.
"We are all human. We are going to screw up. That doesn't mean there is an end to it. There is always hope. Life is not over."
