You can’t always judge a book by its (homeless) cover.
I work with the homeless daily and as a result, I get asked frequently "How do we know if someone is lying?" My answer is quite simply "sometimes, you don't.”
I have worked very hard on discernment only because when money is involved and you only have a very tiny pot to work with, you want to try to use it wisely.
Personally though, I'm a little bit more flexible. I have learned what my boundaries are. I have learned what I feel comfortable doing.
In that, I am not afraid of homeless people in general. I'm afraid of people that act sketchy overall.
I watch body language and I am aware of my surroundings.
Yes, there's a large part of the chronically homeless population that suffers from mental illness.
Yes, there are violent addicts.
But what I have found, at least here, is that that's not all of them. And I can think of multiple people that aren't digging in dumpsters that are violent, steal, and do drugs and drink alcohol, housed addicts.
I will never again make the mistake of writing off a whole group of people for the actions of some.
Even those suffering with addiction and the mentally ill are not just people we can throw away.
Annoying sometimes? Yes.
Time consuming? Yes.
But I have seen some of those seek help, reach sobriety or start taking their meds and their lives were changed.
They weren't just the guys drinking 40's behind the Quick Stop. Some have taken a longer time than others and some still refused help.
As someone who believes in something much greater than myself, I can't not try.
I do believe it is important to find out what organizations, churches, etc. are doing the work and give to them.
That is vital.
They need all the support they can get. And if you know your resources, you can send people that approach you there. You have given them a few minutes of your time and knowledge that can help if they want to seek that out. You may see them 20 more times but maybe on the 21st they have decided to seek another route.
The problems they have are usually many so it won't be fixed in a day or month.
I use health as an example when I talk to people.
We all know the things that are bad for us to eat.
We know we should exercise and those two things inevitably, will add years to our lives and definitely, quality.
And yet, most of us waiver.
We don't eat well. We don't floss. We don't exercise enough. And yet we expect an addict of 30 years to stop drinking or smoking meth and get a job.
We fail to realize the drugs or alcohol are actually part of their biological makeup after that long. The body will die without it. It's no longer a craving but a need... because science.
I've watched one of my very favorite people through all stages of detox and sobriety and lack there of. It's frightening and it has been eye-opening.
As humans, we can acclimate to anything.
I was walking out of the memory unit of my grandmother's new “home” the other day and it hit me “this is our new normal.”
She will live out the rest of her days here and whereas, in the beginning I doubted I would ever get used to going there, now I don't even think about it.
I have memorized the decorations. I know some of the people that live there.
I know the staff.
I get people being a nuisance or not doing things the way we do things or legitimately being dangerous, but letting fear drive us and never realizing there are deeper problems, will never solve anything.
It will never get better if the issue of homelessness is not addressed as a community. No one has the magic answer, mostly because there isn't one.
There are multiple things driving this issue.
I will say, I more than appreciate our law enforcement.
They have been with me in moments that I will always be grateful for.
Do they do things I disagree with? Maybe. But I do things they don't necessarily agree with but we still work together.
We have different roles but it works and honestly, I know it could work better.
The bottom line, humans are humans, whether you live in a house, a lean-to, a trailer, a grass hut or under a bridge.
We all do very human things. We all have different ways we were raised and different things we give value to.
I'm not saying we will ever understand completely or that anger isn't the natural reaction to not understanding, but I do believe there is a better way.
It's not about how people treat us but about how we treat other people.
We can be smart in our approach and the other ways that we can help. And sometimes we just buy a burger for someone or give them the dollar our son wanted to give.
Kim Townsend is the City of Hattiesburg’s Community Development - Homeless Coordinator and manages the Pine Belt Coalition on Homelessness.
