I do not feel old enough to be entering the “empty nest” phase of life. But, I am.
The reality is here. Time has not stopped for me. I am not an exception.
Our children have flown the coop, jumped ship, and stepped out into an exciting and equally beautiful and dangerous world. If you love someone, set them free, right? No. That’s not how I roll right now. But I will have to grudgingly accept it. The train has left the station, carrying my two children to faraway places.
Twenty-one years ago, my wife gave birth to son number one. Almost four years later, son number two entered our solar system. Having children, for us, meant a redirection of all energy and purpose. Everything, and I mean everything, revolved around their welfare, safety and growth. Helicopter parents? Perhaps, on occasion. But, I would never trade being overprotective with not devoting meaningful time and energy to my kids. From cradle to college, they have known nothing but love, not just from parents, but from Pop, Nana, Mami, Papi, a caring Catholic school and a deeply spiritual church.
Our children have experienced the confusing cruelty of life, from the loss of grandparents to suffering a serious life altering illness. They have lived through a catastrophic hurricane and a history-making pandemic where more than 170,000 Americans have lost their lives. Both sons graduated during COVID-19, one through a “virtual” experience, and the other with a mask and socially distanced.
Through the years, we were fortunate enough to travel and see much of our country and its wonders, from mountains to oceans and all the landscapes in between. My wife and I learned quite a bit, too. For instance, TikTok is actually entertaining, and Fortnite is so much more than 14 days! (For you old folks, Fortnite is a massively popular video game.)
Our sons are becoming men.
Did I just write that sentence?! No more clothes on the floor in every room as if they just fell off while walking.
No more half-consumed water bottles throughout the house.
No more mud, mud, mud.
No more toothpaste with missing caps or toilet paper rolls without toilet paper.
No more grocery shopping every day and wondering, how do they eat so much food?
No more selfie Snapchats every 5 seconds.
No more, “Go to Bed!”
I could go on, but I suspect many of you can relate.
The house is about to be quiet and clean again. Fewer clothes to wash, less food to cook, and no more trying to figure out how that dirty sock ended up on the lampshade. My wife and I were far from perfect. We tried to be good role models and establish a strong moral foundation for our sons. We made clear our expectations and will be there when they call. And, with iPhones, they better answer our calls!
This moment is bittersweet, without a doubt. We are proud, anxious and hopeful. The circle of life continues, and our boys are flapping their wings. The nest is empty, but our lives are full.
Clark Hicks is a civil litigation attorney and Hattiesburg resident. Email: clark@hicksattorneys.com.
