I was young once. To all my female friends from 50 years and up: we’re at that age where we see wrinkles, gray hair, and extra pounds. We see the cute 25-year-olds and reminisce. But we were also 25, just as they will one day be our age.
We aren’t the “girls in their summer clothes” anymore. What they bring to the table with their youth and zest, we match with wisdom and experience. We’ve raised families, run households, paid the bills, dealt with diseases, sadness, and everything else life has assigned to us.
Some of us have lost those who were nearest and dearest to us. We are survivors. We are warriors in the quiet. Our bodies aren’t what they once were, but they carry strong souls, courage, and strength. We should never feel bad about getting older, especially since most of us are happier now then we were when we wore the “summer clothes.”
One of the toughest things to nail down about happiness is the definition. Is it a general feeling of contentment, or the sense of satisfaction that comes from a life filled with purpose? Personally, I find that my definition of happiness is getting more boring with each passing year. My favorite Saturday nights are spent with my husband, my couch, and a good book. This would have horrified my younger self. The 25-year-old me would never have anticipated just how much joy I would one day get from a good night’s sleep.
Turns out that my happiness evolution is actually supported by science. Social psychologist Jennifer Aaker has conducted several studies to help explain how and why our definition of happiness changes as we age. Aaker and team analyzed 12 million personal blogs, looking at what kinds of emotions the bloggers mentioned when they talked about feeling “happy.” They found that younger bloggers described experiences of happiness as being times when they felt excited, ecstatic, or elated. They spoke of the way you feel when you’re anticipating the joys the future will bring; joys like finding love, getting ahead at work, or moving to a new town.
Older bloggers were more inclined to describe happy experiences as moments of feeling peaceful, relaxed, calm, or relieved – the way you feel when you’re getting along with your spouse, staying healthy and able to make your mortgage payments. This kind of happiness is less about what lies ahead, and more about being content in your current circumstances.
The researchers found that, as people age, their temporal focus changes from the future to the here and now. And they found that this temporal focus on the present moment drove the basic effects of the feelings of happiness. Conclusion? Old folks are generally happier.
Truly, there are many aspects of aging that are undeniably positive. We should all enter this chapter of our lives with humility, grace, and pride for everything we’ve been through, and we should never feel bad about getting older. As the ever-wise Ben Franklin said, “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young."
Christina Pierce is the publisher of Signature Magazine and The Pine Belt News.
