Why don’t you ditch the hero and get with a zero?
To describe “Earth Girls Are Easy” is difficult. In this out-of-this-world 80s musical comedy adventure that revels in its own 80s-era So-Cal chic, it’s part MTV generation 80s fluff piece, part romantic comedy, all parts pinks and light blues and yellows.
This zippy cross between “My Stepmother is an Alien” and “Beach Blanket Bingo,” adapted from a novelty song by co-star Julie Brown, proved that director Julien Temple could still get a job after the debacle of “Absolute Beginners.”
While starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum and the cast of “In Living Color,” this film is all Julie Brown. Julie Brown started as a spoof musician, broke into film in Lily Tomlin’s “The Incredible Shrinking Woman” in 1981 and hit with the debut of her first EP, a five-song album called “Goddess in Progress.”
Channeling a healthy portion of John Waters for style, Brown’s script tells the tale of a manicurist who discovers her doctor fiancé is a cheating louse, destroys all his stuff and is sunning herself by his pool when horny, fuzzy aliens crash land in said pool.
Over the course of two days and one night, the aliens are completely shaved by Candy Pink, go clubbing, do a dance-off, fall in love, rob a convenience store, go to the beach on “Blonde’s Day,” escape being dissected and fly away with or without. Whew, you got all that?
The ship, from the planet Jhazzala, is manned by three furry dudes named Zebo, Whiploc and Mac. No sooner do the aliens land than Davis hurries them over to her Curl Up & Dye beauty salon for an emergency haircut.
“I see split ends are universal,” says Davis’s boss, who, of course, is Brown. Bingo bango, the ETs are transformed into the now-hairless bods of Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans and Jeff Goldblum.
The aliens’ language, a mix of space garble and mimicked slang, proves ample intellectual stimulation for these Val girls.
“I can’t believe you’re frenching an alien in front of all these people,” says a shocked Davis when Brown goes gaga over Whiploc. Davis astonishes herself later when she lets Goldblum zap her into bed.
Given the nonstop silliness, Goldblum and Davis, who, at the time, were husband and wife offscreen, manage to make an unlikely love story quietly touching.
What follows is a partially black-and-white nightmare that will make every sci-fi fan like myself cheer for more. Old school robots and weird aliens in 50s-style makeup and costumes plague her mind, and it could not have been done better.
In the end, Val must decide whether to stay with boring cheater Ted or move on up to the sky with the alien Goldblum.
The last part of the movie is a little confused and involves Ted trying to get back into Valerie’s good graces, and the alien boys getting into trouble with Woody, the pool man.
Zeebo and Wiploc wanna go to the beach because unlike Mac, they haven’t gotten any space booty. While Woody is gassing up, they manage to accidentally rob a store, trash Angelyne’s Corvette, drive through a car wash and then backwards down the freeway.
The boys crash into the giant sign of Randy’s Donuts, another L.A. landmark; I’m surprised they didn’t stop at Tail o’ the Pup for hot dogs. Obviously, the cops haul them in and they end up under Dr. Love’s care; could it happen any other way?
How they unravel this conundrum, and whether Val ends up with her fun-loving alien or Dr. Love, I’ll leave for you to learn.
The movie is good fun and an overdose of late 80s nostalgia, with the B-52s on the soundtrack.
Don’t miss it, nerds!
Tim Bynum is a Jones County native who lives in Laurel with his wife, Lauren. An avid film fan since 1985, follow him on Instagram at @rexmckrueger.